You must understand

Imagine all the times you've been lonely, tired, wet, cold, and/or miserable. What did you look forward to and what was your refuge? Perhaps a another person, a soft bed, a hot water bottle or simply something to change.

Cricket came to me when I was nine years old. I was a lot like every other kid, except that I was very blessed. In spite of all those blessings, there are always times when you feel alone, tired or any other emotion that leaves us feeling bare. Sometimes we forget to take things to God and we lie to ourselves and we try to make us think that we're deserted, we wallow in self pity.

Gather up all those days where you've felt bare or without. What was it that brought you up? In spite of how blessed and young I was, it doesn't mean that I was unable to feel any real grief or pain.

There were times where I felt like life wasn't meant to be this way. When Harrison and Emily left for college, I'm very close to my siblings, they're my best friends. When we moved repeatedly away from people I've loved dearly, people who had helped me. Times when the whether wasn't the limit. When I watched one of Lottie's puppies die after she'd accidentally laid on it, there was nothing I could do. When someone had hurt me, unintentionally or no.

I've felt pain. Maybe nothing that people deem significant. But I think I'm one of those people that feels very deeply. I am so very very thankful that God made it possible through all those times to be able to take Cricket with me.

People that are more mature than me usually remember to pray, sometimes I don't remember. Cricket has not been my sweet, fat, cute hobby. She's been something that pointed me to God and his love. I think I was afraid of God and his judgement, he gave me Cricket for a reason. To show me that he is a loving God and that he is merciful and that he is with me always.

Cricket is a gift from God. A gift to me. And a gift in itself. A talent. God revealed his plan for me in the most beautiful way that I can think of. Cricket is not just a gift to me, she is my gift.

Please understand, you must understand. I write about Cricket so much because she is one of the best things. I cannot describe it.

Don't try to suppress me. I will always laugh, write and talk about her-- with good reason.


-Priscilla